WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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