def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
