he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
