Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Randomize
