ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
it was like eating out sand paper
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
