im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
