either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I wish life had little blips of pornography
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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