I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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