She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
