If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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