I want to stick my p in your. b.
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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