20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
