they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
