Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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