what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
