We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
