CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
