I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
time to smoke my breakfast
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Randomize
