It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
