Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
