I think scott just propositioned me for sex
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
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