Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
