take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
