I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
