All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize
