I think my vagina is haunted
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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