I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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