i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Everclear isn't food dammit
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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