So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
