Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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