just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
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