I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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