Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
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