when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
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