I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
did i just pee glitter
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
