Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
