Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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