Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
We were destined to go to rehab together
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Randomize
