from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Randomize
