the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
