Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
