I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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