..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
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