Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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