A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Randomize
