Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
