Walk of Shame. In a state park.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Randomize
