How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
