would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I just blew my weed a kiss
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
Randomize
