Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Let's get the cat blown out
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Randomize
