I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
