I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
